Educational Moments Of Alternate Reality, Pt. 1

I Had All These Goats

"There was a homesteader who decided that he needed fresh milk, so he sent to Seattle and ordered some goats. I loaded these goats into one of the old planes and started up there. Well, I had forgotten that goats like rope, and I had tied these goats to various places in the airplane with ropes so that they wouldn't get loose and annoy me or endanger the flight.

"In about twenty minutes they had all the ropes chewed through. So then I had all these goats. They'd all frolic together. There must have been eight hundred pound of goats; and they'd all get in the back of the airplane and I couldn't hold the nose down. They would all come up and chew on me a little bit, and chew my shirt, and I'd slap them away. But I decided not to do that any more, because the first time I did that, they all went to the back of the airplane. It got to be kind of a serious situation. By the time we got to where I could land these goats they had most of the fabric eaten off the inside of the airplane, and my shirt; and the seat I was sitting on was pretty well stripped of upholstery. But these little things happened."

--Merle K. Smith, as quoted in The American Heritage History Of Flight, via Jeppesen PPM

Signs Of The Inner Copy Editor's Fiendish Glee

(photo: flickr.com; links via boingboing.net)

I, for one, cannot understand why people insist on so abusing these poor apostrophe's. Is this frustration you'res as well? If not, step closer so that i can stab you repeatedly with my blue Sanford Uni-ball Vision Exact (micro point) pen. Now, hold still.

Anyway, this warms my heart.

Okay, this too. But that's all you get till after Thanksgiving.

Signs Of A Fine Establishment, Pt. 35

(Waldo, FL/04 Nov/Casio EX-Z750)

No visible evidence of terrorization, but i can report that the banner is quite legible for at least half a mile. Ah, Florida.