Never Rains But What It Pours
Two job interviews and a callback on Tuesday, then on Wednesday an offer. I start Monday. In honor of the occasion, i checked out the library's DVD of Alexander yesterday along with my weekly allotment of scratched CDs. This was a mistake.
My first realization was that i'd never really thought of ancient Greeks as having worn quite that much eye shadow. Or as all having spoken with bad Irish accents. Except for Angelina Jolie, who sounded vaguely Russian, like the hit man in Snatch. [pardon me one second...attempting to purge a particularly disturbing mental juxtaposition....eergh....okay, i'm back.] I also had to admit that i'd never thought of Alexander the Great as being quite so... weepy. I guess i just assumed that someone ruthless enough to conquer the entire known world wouldn't wander around all the time looking like a wounded puppydog, and going on about government-funded education.
I could be wrong. But he did spend very little of his screen time actually conquering. Mainly, he seemed to talk a lot, about how he conquered people not out of tyranny but because he really thought of them as his equals and just wanted them to have big cities and prosper. He was an enlightened conqueror, really. I came away feeling that Alexander the Great has been misunderstood all these years. He may have invaded every country he could reach, but still. Under him, the ancient Greeks were not aggressors like the modern Americans under George W (who as we all know desires only to grind the brown children of the world under his cowboy boot heel of American fascist oppression). No, as i now understand, Alexander aspired to be more of a Kofi Annan type - you know, a uniter, who unified people - with world unity, and stuff, and free health care for all. Except weepier, and without all the kickback scandals. I mean, that is, if Kofi were young, and white, and American, and a bisexual glam-rock star. Well, you never know.
In any case, i can forgive a movie a lot if it keeps me engrossed. But Alexander didn't manage to do that. As the tragedy genre goes, it was less epic world history, more Boogie Nights. (Which i have seen, and which in my opinion really was an epic.) Which really was a tragedy; but in more ways than they meant. Oh well.
My first realization was that i'd never really thought of ancient Greeks as having worn quite that much eye shadow. Or as all having spoken with bad Irish accents. Except for Angelina Jolie, who sounded vaguely Russian, like the hit man in Snatch. [pardon me one second...attempting to purge a particularly disturbing mental juxtaposition....eergh....okay, i'm back.] I also had to admit that i'd never thought of Alexander the Great as being quite so... weepy. I guess i just assumed that someone ruthless enough to conquer the entire known world wouldn't wander around all the time looking like a wounded puppydog, and going on about government-funded education.
I could be wrong. But he did spend very little of his screen time actually conquering. Mainly, he seemed to talk a lot, about how he conquered people not out of tyranny but because he really thought of them as his equals and just wanted them to have big cities and prosper. He was an enlightened conqueror, really. I came away feeling that Alexander the Great has been misunderstood all these years. He may have invaded every country he could reach, but still. Under him, the ancient Greeks were not aggressors like the modern Americans under George W (who as we all know desires only to grind the brown children of the world under his cowboy boot heel of American fascist oppression). No, as i now understand, Alexander aspired to be more of a Kofi Annan type - you know, a uniter, who unified people - with world unity, and stuff, and free health care for all. Except weepier, and without all the kickback scandals. I mean, that is, if Kofi were young, and white, and American, and a bisexual glam-rock star. Well, you never know.
In any case, i can forgive a movie a lot if it keeps me engrossed. But Alexander didn't manage to do that. As the tragedy genre goes, it was less epic world history, more Boogie Nights. (Which i have seen, and which in my opinion really was an epic.) Which really was a tragedy; but in more ways than they meant. Oh well.
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