Anatomy Of A Move
01 Nov: Pack entire gargantuan pile of worldly possessions into 4.5 feet of semi trailer.
02 Nov: Pack remaining portion of gargantuan pile into previously unknown crevices of four-speed Toyota Tercel. Drive four-speed Tercel halfway across United States.
03 Nov: Drive four-speed Tercel remaining distance across United States. Avoid loose camel in rural Tennessee. Accept free dixie cup of grapefruit juice at Florida border. Sign lease. Sleep on floor. Wait for furniture to arrive.
04 Nov: Wear second of three items of clothing brought in Tercel. Apply for bank account; told to get driver's license first. Apply for driver's license; told to return with appointment next week. Sleep on floor. Wait for furniture to arrive.
05 Nov: Call BellSouth on cell phone to order home phone service. Fail to get through. Visit public library to access internet; discover library card is needed. Apply for card; discover driver's license is needed. Return with copy of lease. Receive card. Access internet (in 30-min intervals). Attempt to contact BellSouth via internet. Discover first possible service date is two weeks away. Return to apartment. Sleep on floor. Wait for furniture to arrive.
06 Nov: Re-wear first of three items of clothing brought in Tercel. Access internet at library (30-min intervals). Research jobs. Apply for jobs. Attend airshow on beach with good friend. Return to apartment. Contact freight company again regarding whereabouts of furniture. Sleep on floor. Wait for furniture to arrive.
07 Nov: Attend job interview, re-wearing second of three items of clothing brought. Access internet at library (30-min intervals). Shop for mattress. Purchase mattress. Receive delivery of mattress covered with astonishing variety of filthy black stains. Argue with mattress store. Contact freight company regarding whereabouts of furniture. Sleep on floor. Wait for furniture to arrive.
08 Nov: Accept job offer. Re-wear third of three items of clothing brought. Access internet at library (30-min intervals). Argue with mattress store. Threaten mattress store politely. Issue ultimatum to mattress store. Contact Better Business Bureau. Contact freight company and discover furniture is in Georgia. Sleep on floor. Wait for furniture to arrive.
09 Nov: Begin working at new job. (Wear freshly issued uniform.) Lift heavy boxes for six hours. Accept delivery of fine new mattress and semi trailer containing furniture in same ten-minute period. Change clothes. Lift heavy boxes for additional two hours. Create semblance of path through box piles to bed. Fall asleep on fine new mattress. Smile.
02 Nov: Pack remaining portion of gargantuan pile into previously unknown crevices of four-speed Toyota Tercel. Drive four-speed Tercel halfway across United States.
03 Nov: Drive four-speed Tercel remaining distance across United States. Avoid loose camel in rural Tennessee. Accept free dixie cup of grapefruit juice at Florida border. Sign lease. Sleep on floor. Wait for furniture to arrive.
04 Nov: Wear second of three items of clothing brought in Tercel. Apply for bank account; told to get driver's license first. Apply for driver's license; told to return with appointment next week. Sleep on floor. Wait for furniture to arrive.
05 Nov: Call BellSouth on cell phone to order home phone service. Fail to get through. Visit public library to access internet; discover library card is needed. Apply for card; discover driver's license is needed. Return with copy of lease. Receive card. Access internet (in 30-min intervals). Attempt to contact BellSouth via internet. Discover first possible service date is two weeks away. Return to apartment. Sleep on floor. Wait for furniture to arrive.
06 Nov: Re-wear first of three items of clothing brought in Tercel. Access internet at library (30-min intervals). Research jobs. Apply for jobs. Attend airshow on beach with good friend. Return to apartment. Contact freight company again regarding whereabouts of furniture. Sleep on floor. Wait for furniture to arrive.
07 Nov: Attend job interview, re-wearing second of three items of clothing brought. Access internet at library (30-min intervals). Shop for mattress. Purchase mattress. Receive delivery of mattress covered with astonishing variety of filthy black stains. Argue with mattress store. Contact freight company regarding whereabouts of furniture. Sleep on floor. Wait for furniture to arrive.
08 Nov: Accept job offer. Re-wear third of three items of clothing brought. Access internet at library (30-min intervals). Argue with mattress store. Threaten mattress store politely. Issue ultimatum to mattress store. Contact Better Business Bureau. Contact freight company and discover furniture is in Georgia. Sleep on floor. Wait for furniture to arrive.
09 Nov: Begin working at new job. (Wear freshly issued uniform.) Lift heavy boxes for six hours. Accept delivery of fine new mattress and semi trailer containing furniture in same ten-minute period. Change clothes. Lift heavy boxes for additional two hours. Create semblance of path through box piles to bed. Fall asleep on fine new mattress. Smile.
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