Genre: Obligatory After-Lunch Scary Story

For those who spend less time staring at Fox News in the middle of the night than i do, there have been two shark attacks in Florida in the last week. The first one, in which a fourteen-year-old got eaten off her boogie board near the shore, took place right where we were swimming eight days ago. The second one, in chest-deep water on the beach near Port St. Joe, took place right where we would've been swimming eight days ago if we'd had more time to drive there.

But don't worry, Mom. According to the meticulous people at the Florida Museum of Natural History, shark attacks may outnumber alligator attacks here on the Gulf Coast, but alligator attacks are much more likely to be fatal.

Also according to their highly enlightening site,

• 1,567 Americans per year are injured by toilet bowl products (which, we can only hope, refers to cleaning supplies). In addition,
• while some 850 New Yorkers per year are bitten by cats,
• over 1,500 New Yorkers per year are bitten by people.*
  

*There were no data immediately available on how many cats per year are bitten by people. However, it seems safe to conclude that New York residents have little to fear from lion bites (1 per year), sea lion bites (1), and lionfish stabbings (also 1; unknown whether this was with the fish or by the fish). Mazel tov!