The Horror! The Horror!

(image: weather.com)

There's a war in the Middle East, untold thousands are dying in Darfur, and genocidal idiot dictators everywhere are building atomic bombs. But stop the presses! Today's top headline: Deadly Heat Wave Moves East Across United States!

Sorry, my mistake. I thought it always got hot in July. You know, July. Comes every year between June and August?

I notice no one is running around interviewing anyone down here in Florida. Yeah, it's called SUMMER.

Pansies.